


Little White Lie

by TerraYoung



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: Angst, Based on a text post I made on tumblr post-Strange Visitor From a Strange Planet, Found Family Feels, Gen, POV Second Person, set somewhere in season 1
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-31
Updated: 2016-07-31
Packaged: 2018-07-28 08:29:59
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 708
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7632607
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TerraYoung/pseuds/TerraYoung
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>If you lose someone, the pain never truly goes away. It dies down, settles into a dull ache, but can sometimes come roaring back. </p>
<p>Or: J’onn muses about the daughters he’s lost, their similarities to the ones he’s recently found on Earth, and lets the lines between them blur for a while.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Little White Lie

It’s been a very long day. A very long one and a very busy one, though thankfully a fairly happy one. There was a Fort Rozz escapee to deal with, but that had gone as smoothly as it possibly could. The rest of the day had been filled with Alex giving Kara more combat lessons, agents doing busy work, and you catching up on some old paperwork.

You’re halfway through what you’re sure is the dullest post-op. report you’ve ever had to read when you catch a snippet of Kara’s excited chatter. You smile and shake your head before flipping the report’s folder closed. It can wait another day or two. You head out into the hall to find Kara mid-rant about…puppies? only for her to stop upon seeing you.

Kara blinks. “I’m sorry, was I bothering you? Alex has mentioned that I can talk a little too loud when I’m excited.”

“A _little_?” Alex asks. “Once you were so loud Mom could hear you from the basement. While wearing noise-cancelling headphones.”

“Well, you –” Kara turns to you again.

You wave a hand. “Go ahead. I was just taking a break from paperwork – neither of you were bothering me.”

Kara beams before picking up right where she left off. She and Alex head into the main room with you following right behind. They veer off towards the center table, while you head over to the railing near the monitors and lean on it.

You mindlessly tap your fingers on the metal bars as you scan the room. Agent Vasquez is standing near Kara’s pod, seemingly explaining something to an increasingly bored-looking Agent Lincoln. Agent Hook is repeatedly tapping their phone – probably playing a game – and occasionally tilts their head quizzically to the side. Kara is still excitedly talking to Alex, with the latter periodically chuckling at what her sister has to say. At one point, Alex gasps in mock horror and playfully shoves Kara away. Despite being different people on a different planet, the sight is so painfully familiar that you have to close your eyes against the sudden onslaught of memories.

While they’re still shut you make the impulsive and selfish decision to lie. It’s just to yourself and just for a few moments. The temptation to postpone the rising heartbreak is too much to ignore, so you push aside the truth and focus on the following:

To start, you’re not the last Green Martian – it’s close, but you and your daughters made it out. You, K’hym, and T’ania made it to Earth. You’re all alive and you’re all together. In fact, K’hym and T’ania are even in this room. You open your eyes and find them standing at the center table, talking and laughing together. They don’t look like themselves, but that’s only because they’re practicing their shapeshifting abilities – that’s it.

Your daughters are happy and safe and most importantly _alive_.

You hold this story close, envelop yourself in the false happiness it brings, before finally shoving it away. The constant heartbreak and loss that thrums through your bones instantly slams back into place. It’ll eventually die down, but it never completely disappears. You doubt it ever will.

The thing about the lie is that it’s not that you don’t care for Kara and Alex, or that you don’t see them as their own people. It’s just that sometimes the part of you that misses your biological daughters is too loud to ignore, that sometimes their loss hurts so much it _aches_. And sometimes Alex and Kara remind you of K’hym and T’ania to the point where it takes your breath away.

If you’re being honest with yourself, they’re all your daughters in the end.

You force yourself to look somewhere besides at Kara and Alex. The former can probably sense the weight of your stare, and both would somehow be able to sense the melancholy direction your thoughts have taken. You’re not in the mood for their attempts at comfort, so you decide to head back to your office. Maybe that report will seem less boring now.

You’ll never stop missing your original family, but you can’t afford to let their loss run your life. Especially when you have a new one to protect.


End file.
